Sunday, June 27, 2004
Dear Ethylene,
Several weeks ago you printed your "Fourth of July Squirrel Pie" recipe (see Dear Ethylene, May 11), which we tried and loved! Here in Crabgrass, South Dakota, squirrel are plentiful, and they are just about the only thing we'll let Jared, our 7 year old, shoot. Consequently, we are knee deep in squirrel. Do you have any other favorite squirrel recipes to share?
Sam Iyam
Dear Sam,
Sure I do!
Of course, the perennial favorite is squirrel gravy, which goes well with biscuits. But I think that many people nowadays forget a simpler option -- squirrel on a stick.
People forget how savory and juicy squirrel meat is. Why hide its natural flavors behind salty gravy or other sauces? Squirrel on a stick is basically squirrel barbecue (roasted squirrel over an open flame), and its positively yummy! And it has the added advantage of requiring much less preparation by the cook, though it leaves that much more work for the consumer.
PREPARATION
Step 1: Kill squirrel.
Step 2: Impale squirrel on a flame resistant spit. Do NOT clean the squirrel. The fur seals in the juices.
Step 3: Roast squirrel over slow flame, rotating periodically, for 2 hours.
CONSUMPTION
Step 1: Make an incision in the belly of the squirrel.
Step 2: Remove cooked entrails, leaving only meat. (Save entrails for your pets, or a soup.)
Step 3: Scrape meat out of squirrel gut from the inside using a spoon and eat.
Step 4: Don't forget the best part! Using your spoon, give the squirrel one or two good raps on the head, and it should crack. Using your thumbs, pry open the head and scoop out the brain matter, which should be a delicate gelatinous consistency. It is even sweeter than the rest of squirrel so save it for last.
Goes well with okra and sweet potatoes.
Bon apetit!
Ethylene
Several weeks ago you printed your "Fourth of July Squirrel Pie" recipe (see Dear Ethylene, May 11), which we tried and loved! Here in Crabgrass, South Dakota, squirrel are plentiful, and they are just about the only thing we'll let Jared, our 7 year old, shoot. Consequently, we are knee deep in squirrel. Do you have any other favorite squirrel recipes to share?
Sam Iyam
Dear Sam,
Sure I do!
Of course, the perennial favorite is squirrel gravy, which goes well with biscuits. But I think that many people nowadays forget a simpler option -- squirrel on a stick.
People forget how savory and juicy squirrel meat is. Why hide its natural flavors behind salty gravy or other sauces? Squirrel on a stick is basically squirrel barbecue (roasted squirrel over an open flame), and its positively yummy! And it has the added advantage of requiring much less preparation by the cook, though it leaves that much more work for the consumer.
PREPARATION
Step 1: Kill squirrel.
Step 2: Impale squirrel on a flame resistant spit. Do NOT clean the squirrel. The fur seals in the juices.
Step 3: Roast squirrel over slow flame, rotating periodically, for 2 hours.
CONSUMPTION
Step 1: Make an incision in the belly of the squirrel.
Step 2: Remove cooked entrails, leaving only meat. (Save entrails for your pets, or a soup.)
Step 3: Scrape meat out of squirrel gut from the inside using a spoon and eat.
Step 4: Don't forget the best part! Using your spoon, give the squirrel one or two good raps on the head, and it should crack. Using your thumbs, pry open the head and scoop out the brain matter, which should be a delicate gelatinous consistency. It is even sweeter than the rest of squirrel so save it for last.
Goes well with okra and sweet potatoes.
Bon apetit!
Ethylene
Monday, June 21, 2004
Dear Ethylene,
I see you warn your readers of the dangers of “sciencism” and “reasonism.” How in the world can you denigrate science and reason? As the chair of the Physics Department here at Topeka College, I must object to the pejorative connotation you put on these words.
We use the tools of science – like reason and empirical testing -- to understand the world around us. Reliance on science and reason are the bulwarks of an advanced society. They are part of the reason we no longer burn witches, or believe the sun revolves around the earth. Religious belief has its place, but it is not a substitute for reason and empiricism, something most humans understand instinctively.
So when you try to discredit science by placing words like “sciencism” and “reasonism” in scare-quotes, you discredit our noblest instincts and do a disservice to your readers.
Myron Pinkerton
Topeka College
Dear Professor Pinkerton,
I can’t imagine that your students understand a word you say! I had to look up every fifth or sixth word just to keep up. (I found “bulwark” and “denigrate,” but according to the Fifth Edition of the New Chrisitian Severely Abridged Dictionary, “pejorative” isn’t even a word.)
Look professor, I have nothing against scientists, but sciencists are another matter altogether. Sciencists push the radical science agenda, the same agenda that has removed God from our science classrooms. How can that be good for our children?
And please do not lecture me about science. I was born and raised on a farm which is, after all, science in action. There’s biology – animals eating, mating, producing waste. There’s chemistry – making nature’s bountiful soils more bountiful by adding chemical fertilizers. And there’s physics – using machinery to harvest crops.
But science is not the be-all and end-all of human understanding. Science has never disproven the existence of God (try as the sciencists might!), nor has science always been right. As you know better than I, scientists used to tell us that the best way to lose weight was sensible exercise and a high-carb, low-fat diet. Hah!
We farm girls always knew that that was bunch of hooey, but it took another scientist – Dr. Atkins – to prove it to the rest of you reasonists. Now science tells us that our traditional farm breakfasts -- large portions of bacon and eggs and steak every day – will help you lose weight.
As a girl, I ate those huge breakfasts every day and always maintained my healthy but girlish figure. Think how much suffering some gullible people endured because of their faith in science! Not only did they miss out on all that tasty food, they wasted hundreds of dollars on those exercise gizmos you see sitting on the curb by the trash cans every February. More important, those people wasted their hope – indeed, their faith -- on the broken promises of science.
That’s right, their faith in science. They believed just because a scientist told them to believe. How is that different from religious faith, I ask you? You worship at the alter of sciencism if you must. But don’t try to tell me that your faith is superior to mine. If it was, wouldn’t a majority of Americans believe in evolution rather than creationism, instead of the other way around?
But thanks for your screed, and bon raison!
Ethylene
I see you warn your readers of the dangers of “sciencism” and “reasonism.” How in the world can you denigrate science and reason? As the chair of the Physics Department here at Topeka College, I must object to the pejorative connotation you put on these words.
We use the tools of science – like reason and empirical testing -- to understand the world around us. Reliance on science and reason are the bulwarks of an advanced society. They are part of the reason we no longer burn witches, or believe the sun revolves around the earth. Religious belief has its place, but it is not a substitute for reason and empiricism, something most humans understand instinctively.
So when you try to discredit science by placing words like “sciencism” and “reasonism” in scare-quotes, you discredit our noblest instincts and do a disservice to your readers.
Myron Pinkerton
Topeka College
Dear Professor Pinkerton,
I can’t imagine that your students understand a word you say! I had to look up every fifth or sixth word just to keep up. (I found “bulwark” and “denigrate,” but according to the Fifth Edition of the New Chrisitian Severely Abridged Dictionary, “pejorative” isn’t even a word.)
Look professor, I have nothing against scientists, but sciencists are another matter altogether. Sciencists push the radical science agenda, the same agenda that has removed God from our science classrooms. How can that be good for our children?
And please do not lecture me about science. I was born and raised on a farm which is, after all, science in action. There’s biology – animals eating, mating, producing waste. There’s chemistry – making nature’s bountiful soils more bountiful by adding chemical fertilizers. And there’s physics – using machinery to harvest crops.
But science is not the be-all and end-all of human understanding. Science has never disproven the existence of God (try as the sciencists might!), nor has science always been right. As you know better than I, scientists used to tell us that the best way to lose weight was sensible exercise and a high-carb, low-fat diet. Hah!
We farm girls always knew that that was bunch of hooey, but it took another scientist – Dr. Atkins – to prove it to the rest of you reasonists. Now science tells us that our traditional farm breakfasts -- large portions of bacon and eggs and steak every day – will help you lose weight.
As a girl, I ate those huge breakfasts every day and always maintained my healthy but girlish figure. Think how much suffering some gullible people endured because of their faith in science! Not only did they miss out on all that tasty food, they wasted hundreds of dollars on those exercise gizmos you see sitting on the curb by the trash cans every February. More important, those people wasted their hope – indeed, their faith -- on the broken promises of science.
That’s right, their faith in science. They believed just because a scientist told them to believe. How is that different from religious faith, I ask you? You worship at the alter of sciencism if you must. But don’t try to tell me that your faith is superior to mine. If it was, wouldn’t a majority of Americans believe in evolution rather than creationism, instead of the other way around?
But thanks for your screed, and bon raison!
Ethylene
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Dear Ethylene,
My husband and I belong to a book club. This week, one of the couples we don’t know very well – the Brentanos – selected “The DaVinci Code”.
Now I was very excited when I heard about the selection because I knew that the book was a bestseller and involved religious history. Little did I know that it was just well-written blasphemy. Turns out this “novel” basically suggests that the “Holy Grail” which carried the blood of Jesus from the Holy Land to Europe was a metaphor for Jesus’ descendants!
No, that is not a typo. This book hypothesizes that Jesus and Mary Magdalene (the prostitute!) had a child, and that Jesus’ descendants lived in Europe for centuries afterward! They were the holy grail! Eeewwww!
This author, Dan Brown (if that is his real name), says that the documents supporting all this were purposefully left out when the bible was first assembled from early Christian tracts. He says this was done, in part, to subjugate women within the early Christian church.
What can I say to discredit this nonsense at the book club meeting?
Livid in Ft. Wayne
Dear Livid,
Don’t worry. There is a very simple retort to this silly theory.
You know as well as I do that the Bible is the literal and inspired word of God, right? And we also know that God has no interest in subjugating women (except in the case of wives submitting to their husbands, which is a whole different issue). Therefore, this nonsense about “choosing books to include in the bible” can’t be true!
Ipso facto, QED, e pluribus unum, as my geometry teacher used to say!
So just cut right through all this nonsense about who wrote the books of the bible and why and when, and remind your book clubbers that challenging the bible is challenging the literal word of God. That will show them, logically, that this Da Vinci code nonsense is just ever so much gobbledegook.
But please, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Remain calm and use the superior force of your argument to prevail.
And don't be too hard on these Brentano people. Remember that Italians, like Da Vinci, are a wonderful but erratic people. They excel in art, music, and food. But ever since Galileo, they have had a rebellious streak where religion is concerned. This is just another one of their cock-eyed ideas. Don’t make more out of it than it deserves.
Good luck at book club and bon lire!
Ethylene
My husband and I belong to a book club. This week, one of the couples we don’t know very well – the Brentanos – selected “The DaVinci Code”.
Now I was very excited when I heard about the selection because I knew that the book was a bestseller and involved religious history. Little did I know that it was just well-written blasphemy. Turns out this “novel” basically suggests that the “Holy Grail” which carried the blood of Jesus from the Holy Land to Europe was a metaphor for Jesus’ descendants!
No, that is not a typo. This book hypothesizes that Jesus and Mary Magdalene (the prostitute!) had a child, and that Jesus’ descendants lived in Europe for centuries afterward! They were the holy grail! Eeewwww!
This author, Dan Brown (if that is his real name), says that the documents supporting all this were purposefully left out when the bible was first assembled from early Christian tracts. He says this was done, in part, to subjugate women within the early Christian church.
What can I say to discredit this nonsense at the book club meeting?
Livid in Ft. Wayne
Dear Livid,
Don’t worry. There is a very simple retort to this silly theory.
You know as well as I do that the Bible is the literal and inspired word of God, right? And we also know that God has no interest in subjugating women (except in the case of wives submitting to their husbands, which is a whole different issue). Therefore, this nonsense about “choosing books to include in the bible” can’t be true!
Ipso facto, QED, e pluribus unum, as my geometry teacher used to say!
So just cut right through all this nonsense about who wrote the books of the bible and why and when, and remind your book clubbers that challenging the bible is challenging the literal word of God. That will show them, logically, that this Da Vinci code nonsense is just ever so much gobbledegook.
But please, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Remain calm and use the superior force of your argument to prevail.
And don't be too hard on these Brentano people. Remember that Italians, like Da Vinci, are a wonderful but erratic people. They excel in art, music, and food. But ever since Galileo, they have had a rebellious streak where religion is concerned. This is just another one of their cock-eyed ideas. Don’t make more out of it than it deserves.
Good luck at book club and bon lire!
Ethylene
Monday, June 07, 2004
Dear Ethylene,
My husband and I have this ongoing argument about a very sensitive subject, and I'd like you to settle it for us.
We are an average middle class white couple from Lonesome Pit, Nevada. As loyal Republican conservatives, we attended a fundraiser a few months ago where the featured speaker was Congressman J.C. Watts, a truly inspiring and surprisingly articulate man.
On the way home my husband Burt and I had an argument. I say that black Americans (you know, negroes) have made significant contributions to American culture, contributions that far exceed their numbers as a proportion of the population. And not just in sports. I think this is also true in the fields of music, dance, and youth fashion.
Burt says that that I am "full of baloney," and that introducing the word "shizzle" into the language doesn't qualify as a "contribution" to our culture. I think Burt is being harsh, and turning a blind eye to the positive contributions of people like Roberta Flack, the Spinners, and Maxine Nightengale, to name a few.
What do you think?
Not Racist
Dear Not,
You are right, and your husband needs to open his eyes!
If it weren't for negroes, we would have never had negro spirituals, which begat early soul music. And while many of us lament the fact that soul music begat R&B and rock and roll, we must also remember that rock and roll begat disco, for which we can all be eternally thankful.
One of my earliest musical heroes was the great Miss Donna Summer. I used to have her poster on the inside of my bedroom closet door, so I could look at it when I wanted to, but also hide it from my father, who (as a farmer) never really understood disco. By the age of 14 I was performing exact replica rendition of "Last Dance" for my friends, complete with huge a black wig.
It was from disco and negroes that America discovered "the hustle," wide lapels, glitter makeup, and, frankly, dressing presentably. Remember, prior to the disco era everyone dressed like unwashed penniless drifters. Disco reminded us that dressing nicely is important.
And this is to say nothing of the nonmusical arts, where the contributions of Afro-Americans have been plentiful. Take literature, for example. I am a loyal member of the Oprah Book Club, where I discovered "The Color Purple," "Why the Caged Bird Sings," and the gritty urban drama, "Superfly," which I understand was also a movie.
Oh, and I almost forgot, Oprah herself is a negro!
So you tell Burt that he is wrong. Sure, rap and rap culture are very scary. But that is just one part of negroeness. On balance, the contributions of Afro-Americans to American culture has been positive.
And as my Afro-American friends like to say, "you go girl!"
Bon Arguendo!
Ethylene
My husband and I have this ongoing argument about a very sensitive subject, and I'd like you to settle it for us.
We are an average middle class white couple from Lonesome Pit, Nevada. As loyal Republican conservatives, we attended a fundraiser a few months ago where the featured speaker was Congressman J.C. Watts, a truly inspiring and surprisingly articulate man.
On the way home my husband Burt and I had an argument. I say that black Americans (you know, negroes) have made significant contributions to American culture, contributions that far exceed their numbers as a proportion of the population. And not just in sports. I think this is also true in the fields of music, dance, and youth fashion.
Burt says that that I am "full of baloney," and that introducing the word "shizzle" into the language doesn't qualify as a "contribution" to our culture. I think Burt is being harsh, and turning a blind eye to the positive contributions of people like Roberta Flack, the Spinners, and Maxine Nightengale, to name a few.
What do you think?
Not Racist
Dear Not,
You are right, and your husband needs to open his eyes!
If it weren't for negroes, we would have never had negro spirituals, which begat early soul music. And while many of us lament the fact that soul music begat R&B and rock and roll, we must also remember that rock and roll begat disco, for which we can all be eternally thankful.
One of my earliest musical heroes was the great Miss Donna Summer. I used to have her poster on the inside of my bedroom closet door, so I could look at it when I wanted to, but also hide it from my father, who (as a farmer) never really understood disco. By the age of 14 I was performing exact replica rendition of "Last Dance" for my friends, complete with huge a black wig.
It was from disco and negroes that America discovered "the hustle," wide lapels, glitter makeup, and, frankly, dressing presentably. Remember, prior to the disco era everyone dressed like unwashed penniless drifters. Disco reminded us that dressing nicely is important.
And this is to say nothing of the nonmusical arts, where the contributions of Afro-Americans have been plentiful. Take literature, for example. I am a loyal member of the Oprah Book Club, where I discovered "The Color Purple," "Why the Caged Bird Sings," and the gritty urban drama, "Superfly," which I understand was also a movie.
Oh, and I almost forgot, Oprah herself is a negro!
So you tell Burt that he is wrong. Sure, rap and rap culture are very scary. But that is just one part of negroeness. On balance, the contributions of Afro-Americans to American culture has been positive.
And as my Afro-American friends like to say, "you go girl!"
Bon Arguendo!
Ethylene
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Dear Readers,
As is my custom, during the summer months (Memorial Day to Labor Day), I will be publishing my column less frequently -- probably about once a week.
As a mother of seven, I will be busier now that the children are out of school. My young ones will be at home with me, cross stitching for Jesus, and enjoying the oppressive Kansas summer. The older ones will be at bible camp all summer, except for our oldest, Ezra, who is in junior high. He has shown a special aptitude for leadership and an interest in entering the entertainment industry. So he is off to "Mascot College" at Southwest Missouri State University for a month, where he will learn the ins and outs of being an athletic team mascot.
As for me, the summer is a heavy production period for my crossstitchingforjesus.com home business. The kids extra hands help out quite a bit, but I have to do the lion's share of the work. We won't be having a repeat of little Rebecca's carpal tunnel surgery again this summer!
But please keep those letters coming, readers. I will get to them as soon as I can. Look for my column on Mondays this summer, and I'll be back to my 3-4 columns per week schedule after labor day.
Until then, Bon Summer!
Ethylene
As is my custom, during the summer months (Memorial Day to Labor Day), I will be publishing my column less frequently -- probably about once a week.
As a mother of seven, I will be busier now that the children are out of school. My young ones will be at home with me, cross stitching for Jesus, and enjoying the oppressive Kansas summer. The older ones will be at bible camp all summer, except for our oldest, Ezra, who is in junior high. He has shown a special aptitude for leadership and an interest in entering the entertainment industry. So he is off to "Mascot College" at Southwest Missouri State University for a month, where he will learn the ins and outs of being an athletic team mascot.
As for me, the summer is a heavy production period for my crossstitchingforjesus.com home business. The kids extra hands help out quite a bit, but I have to do the lion's share of the work. We won't be having a repeat of little Rebecca's carpal tunnel surgery again this summer!
But please keep those letters coming, readers. I will get to them as soon as I can. Look for my column on Mondays this summer, and I'll be back to my 3-4 columns per week schedule after labor day.
Until then, Bon Summer!
Ethylene
